Love Story
by Nicky Gabriel
Summary: Isn't any friendship a love story? A series of drabbles. It's not Starsky/Hutch.
1. The Shield

_I will post there my drabbles (100 – 300 words). They are all gen and will not be posted in any particular order.__ The first one is the first story I've ever written in English._

~ * ~

**The Shield**

Hutch put a hand over Starsky's heart, as his friend was sleeping in his lap during a particularly boring stakeout, and the unique sensation was overwhelming. He could feel strong and rhythmic heartbeat under his fingertips. Starsky's chest was rising in almost hypnotic motion. Hutch moved the hand down smoothing the muscles tangible under Starsky's shirt. How many times this body was the only thing standing between him and a certain death?

"What exactly are you trying to achieve?" Starsky looked at him, suddenly awake.

"I think I should take to running again," Hutch simply answered.

And Starsky simply smiled.


	2. The Reason

**The Reason**

Stakeouts with Starsky were never boring, though Hutch had to admit, that there were nights like this, when they were just sitting in Hutch's car, staring at some warehouse, waiting for the creeps to finally show up and did not even have a word with each other. Hutch was positive that Starsky could wait all night for Hutch's update on his love-life, but he had no intention to torment his partner this way. Actually, he had no intention to torture himself this way, either.

Hutch stole a glance at his partner, but Starsky was concentrating on the warehouse door, where a couple of strayed cats were fighting over some food. Hutch was sure that Starsky had sensed that Hutch's date last night did not end very well and intentionally was not going to push it, giving Hutch all the time he needed to decide how to go on with the situation.

Hutch heaved a sigh and leaned back on the headrest. That was all of the invitation Starsky needed.

"You split up, right?" That was not even a question, just a silent and simple statement.

"Yep," Hutch closed his eyes and was not surprised when Starsky put a hand on his knee slightly squeezing.

"And the _reason_ bothers you more than the mere fact of splitting-up." Yet another statement.

_"Hell, he is good."_

"Yep."

"I believe you cannot get rid of this reason?" The hand still on his knee and Hutch still not looking at him.

"And do you know what _I_ believe, Starsk? I believe that somewhere there is a woman who actually _will_ understand. Me – the job – us."

Starsky considered it for awhile.

"Okay, so you cannot get rid of yourself," he finally took the hand back, but smiled. "And I believe there are two of them somewhere."


	3. Making Sure

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

~ * ~

**Making Sure**

They decided to do it slowly. One step at a time. They had the rest of their lives. It didn't matter if or how long would it take for Starsky to be back on the streets. What really mattered was that they were still alive and _together_.

"Hutch?" asked Starsky, clasping the review of the medical board.

"Yes?" Hutch put a hand on Starsky's shoulder.

"If I choose to go back, will you follow me?" There still was a shade of uncertainty in the whispered question.

"Have I never?"

Indeed, no rush. They weren't ready to trust the _world_ yet.


	4. Sanctuary

Written for **Enednoviel. **Thank you **Laura McEwan **for your help.

~* ~

**Sanctuary**

_"Isn't any friendship a love story?"_  
**– Paul Michael Glaser –**

They were sitting on the sand, watching the water and the waves, saying goodbye to another day, another gift from life. They learned years ago to come there after work, before they headed home – they realized it was easier to forget the job and face their wives, kids and everyday problems when they had their daily dose of each other in a place like that.

"Hutch?" Starsky asked, leaning back against Hutch's chest.

"Yes?"

"I think that right _now_ our souls are making love to each other."

Hutch smiled at him.

"No buddy, I think it's happening _all the time_."


	5. The Price

**Laura McEwan****, **thank you for your help.

~ * ~

**The Price**

Hutch never expected what Starsky said next.

"It hurt like hell, but I'm glad you slept with her." That was just a simple statement and Starsky's voice was quiet and calm.

Hutch stared at him for a second and then asked with surprise coloring his question.

"What did you say?"

"She managed to do what I couldn't for months." Starsky just shrugged.

Hutch blinked, still not believing what he had heard.

"And that is?" he asked faintly.

This time Starsky smiled a little more.

"She made you come back to me."

Hutch never realized that Starsky loved him _that_ much.


	6. Bullet For My Valentine

Written for **Laura McEwan. **Thank you** Nicola (britwizz)** for your help.

~ * ~

**Bullet For My Valentine**

The last time Starsky had held a gun, he'd ended up the victim. He still could feel the pain ripping his chest apart when it happened. He was about to leave the rifle range and never pull his weapon again, but Hutch's determined voice held him back.

"Don't you dare." He reached for Starsky's hand and aimed for him.

Suddenly, this simple touch and the confidence in his partner's eyes were all Starsky needed. He leaned against Hutch, his breathing steady now, his hand steadier.

"Now shoot, babe," came a whisper, Hutch's lips almost touching his ear.

And Starsky did.


	7. The Battlefield

Thank you **Laura McEwan **for your help.

~ * ~

**The Battlefield**

Starsky's stubbornness was the only obstacle left for Hutch to get rid of before he could take his friend home and proceed with their recovery. Hutch was aware that they _both_ had been hurt and they _both_ needed time to heal. Together. Starsky apparently couldn't see that and wanted to do it alone.

"I just don't want to take your life from you," Starsky whispered weakly.

Hutch turned from the window and stepped closer.

"You aren't, you idiot," he emphasized. "Don't you understand? My life was yours from the moment they partnered us. Why do you think I'm still here? Safe and sound? I put my life into your hands and you never failed me."

"I can't let you give up your future!" Starsky's voice was shaking and Hutch was sure his friend would yell at him if he had any strength left after physiotherapy session.

"You are my future!" Hutch shouted, and then asked more gently, "Starsk, tell me you wouldn't do it for me?"

"Tell me you'd _let_ me do it!" Starsky refuted immediately.

"I _did_ let you," Hutch whispered and sat on the edge of the bed.

"That was different," Starsky shook his head.

Hutch looked at him for a while and then decided to say what he knew could be the last resort to win this argument.

"Starsk, you know I'd die for you, don't you?"

"What?" Starsky frowned. "Yeah, I know." They both knew it was a part of being partners.

"If you can accept me dying for you, why it's so hard to accept me living for you?"

Starsky looked at him sharply, but then finally smiled.

"That was low, Hutchinson."

"In love and war," Hutch shrugged.

Starsky reached for Hutch's hand and squeezed slightly.

"Ok, you won the battle, but not the war!"


	8. Perfection Included

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

**~ * ~**

**Perfection Included**

"You are perfect, you know that?" Starsky whispered into Terry's ear.

"Yeah? How is that?" She leaned back against him, letting him slip his arms around her waist.

"Because you like him." He pointed to Hutch who was playing on the court with the children from her school.

Terry raised her head and looked at him genuinely surprised.

"How could I not?" she asked. "He is the main reason you come back to me every day in one piece, isn't he? He takes care of you when I can not. What's not to like?"

"As I said – perfect," Starsky repeated.


	9. A New Partner

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Starsky knew it wouldn't be easy. There was always the possibility that one of them could get hurt or killed, but they never dwelled on it. It was easier that way. And now he was facing an empty desk, an empty locker, an empty car.

Starsky looked up when his new partner walked into the locker room.

"Starsk?" It was just a whisper, but somehow it made all the difference he needed. All the difference he craved. This was the only person that _could_ make the emptiness disappear and the pain diminish.

"Hey, Hutch. I'll show you our desk, ok?"


	10. One and One Is One

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Hutch watched the paramedics try to stabilize Starsky before they could take him to the hospital.

"The CPR? How long?" asked one of the men attending to Hutch's own injuries.

Hutch didn't even look up; all his attention was on Starsky.

"Don't know. Twenty minutes?" Hutch could only whisper because his chest hurt as it never had before and it wasn't from a physical injury.

"I see." The paramedic put a blanket over his back. "You'll be ok, but you should rest, Detective. Breathing for two people is an exhausting experience."

"We are not two people." Again, just a whisper.


	11. Whoever We Are

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

**~ * ~**

"Hutch, quantum physics is fascinating! Could you believe that with every decision we make, we create a brand new universe?" Starsky looked up from the trivia magazine he always read when they were on stakeouts.

"Brand new universe?" Hutch frowned doubtfully.

"Yeah, an alternate universe. Maybe a place where you aren't a detective? Place where we don't even know each other?"

Hutch looked away from the warehouse, staring at Starsky. No, this theory was the most ridiculous he'd ever heard.

"Somehow I feel that we're together in _any_ alternate universe," Hutch stated with conviction.

Starsky just smiled.

"Yeah, me too."


	12. Bulletproof Vest

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

**~ * ~**

"Thought you were dead." That was all Starsky whispered, but he knew his partner would understand what was left unsaid, would understand every single implication of this statement.

_To serve and to protect._

Starsky had just done the opposite, but he didn't regret his choosing Hutch. He didn't feel guilty. He couldn't.

Starsky always lived by the rule that said to never regret loving anyone. That was why he could live, die or even kill for the ones he loved. Yeah, no regrets when it came to his partner.

Starsky knew his duty well. To serve and to protect – Hutch.


	13. Undercover

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Sometimes it took one day, but sometimes it took a few weeks to feel human again, but coming home always had the same pattern.

Paperwork – with the case freshly imprinted in his brain.

Starsky driving him home.

Taking a hot shower.

Finding clothes not stinking of detested alter-ego. Putting them on, almost with a reverence.

Sharing a dinner with Starsky – mostly in silence. No talking about the case, the bad guys, or things Hutch had to do while _being_ one of them.

After Starsky left, talking to the plants.

_Almost_ feeling home.

And then finding Starsky's scent on the pillow.


	14. Mission Accomplished

Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

His body, his mind, even the emptiness within ached. Such a simple task as opening his eyes was an unbearable effort right now.

He was angry, furious even, but most of all, Hutch was tired. And Starsky must be exhausted from having to suffer though his horrible moods since the ordeal began.

Hutch knew he wanted the high again. At first that was all he wanted, but then he'd found something he wanted instead of this shit.

Starsky.

He wanted his trust again; his respect and love.

There was only one way to achieve it – staying clean. And maybe, just maybe, Starsky would rest again and maybe even smile again.

Starsky cared too much, but Hutch couldn't make it without his help. It was Starsky who held his soul until Hutch would be ready to take care of it again.

Hutch knew that Starsky was not sleeping now; couldn't fake it with Hutch lying in his lap.

"Did we really do it?" Hutch asked, reaching to brush Starsky's face with his fingertips.

Starsky looked at him, frowning. "What?"

"Sleep together?" Hutch asked.

Starsky blinked with surprise, but then laughed.

"Semantics, Hutchinson. Semantics."

"Semantics?" Hutch grinned mockingly. "Didn't realize you knew such a complicated word."

"Wiseass."

The way he said it; not just the words, but the way he said it.

Normal. Equal. Loved.

Finally, Hutch felt like he had his soul again.


	15. Equal

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Hutch swallowed hard and looked almost aghast at Starsky' remark.

"What did you say?" he could only whisper, because the words cut him worse than if Starsky had stabbed him with a knife.

"You've never even thought about it, have you Hutch?" Starsky asked slowly. "Maybe we really can't be partners anymore. The word _partner_ means 'equal'. We're not," he shrugged. It was just a simple statement – no bitterness, no complaints. As if he didn't even know how much it hurt Hutch.

"What do you mean, we're not equal?"

"Hutch, you're my best friend in the world, but it will never be the same again. After what you've done for me... no, never. And besides, you need to live your life again. You've already done too much for me. You sacrificed so much time when you were taking care of me."

"Ok, friend," Hutch sat sideways on the couch and gripped him on the shoulders. "No! You listen, and listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once. You are right. We are not equal. You faced death and you won. Then you faced life and you still won. You are the one who is stronger and braver in this partnership. Where does it leave me in the story, huh? Tell me what did I do?"

Starsky looked at him, bewildered.

"What did you do?" he asked surprised. "Hutch, you're the _reason_ I won!"

"Really, _Partner_?"

Starsky smiled a little.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure."

Hutch shook his head.

"Starsky," he whispered, almost exasperated. "Don't you understand that I want to spend every single second we still have on this world with you?"

"Even if I live for another hundred years?" Starsky smiled mischievously.

Hutch sighed with relief.

"Especially if you live for another hundred years, babe."


	16. The End

Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Tall, proud, and so damn much alive.

At the DA's request, Starsky had worn the dress uniform. Hutch could only be awed by his partner's courage and trust in him. Starsky didn't want the jury's pity; only wanted to prove that Gunther hadn't defeated him. Nor had he defeated Hutch, who did a hell of a job bringing down one of the mightiest men in the country.

"It is over?" asked Starsky, walking through the court door.

Hutch knew the question wasn't about the trial verdict, one that had let them believe in justice again.

"No, it's just the beginning."


	17. The Easier Way

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

**~ * ~**

"Why is it so easy for them?" asked one angel, walking a few steps behind the two detectives.

The second angel didn't speak for a while, watching one of the humans put a hand on the shoulder of the other one.

"'Cause there's nothing more than love involved," he explained.

"Didn't realize there even existed something _more_ than love," retorted the first one indignantly.

"There isn't. They just don't expect anything else to follow. When they touch each other, they're rewarded immediately. They don't wait for what _could_ be."

"As we do in Heaven?"

"Yes, babe, exactly as we do."


	18. Old Enough

Thank you **Laura McEwan **for your help.

~ * ~

Hutch sensed something was wrong immediately after entering the locker room. There was no one but Starsky, but the mood was worse than grim.

"What's up?" Hutch stopped behind him.

Starsky was looking in the mirror, frowning deeply.

"Silver hair, Hutch. How did it happen?"

Hutch grinned, hugging him tightly.

"What're you laughing at?" protested Starsky trying to shove him away but not succeeding. "'S not funny!"

"I'm just glad we lived long enough to witness it happening," explained Hutch patiently.

Starsky relaxed a bit.

"I love your silver hair, Starsky."

And only then the man in Hutch's arms smiled.


	19. But for the Grace of God

Thank you **Laura McEwan **for your help. Missing scene for The Pilot.

~ * ~

The windshield broken, with sharp glass spilled all over the seats. Hutch could still feel the cold that'd frozen his heart when he saw the damaged car for the first time this evening. Now, after a few hours, the fear still didn't subside.

A warm hand on the back of his neck.

"Could've been you." Hutch didn't even turn around.

"Could've been us." Even warmer whisper touching his hair.

_Better us than just you_, Hutch thought bitterly

"Not if I can help it," declared Starsky, slightly squeezing his shoulder.

"We'll see," murmured Hutch, but it wasn't so cold any more.


	20. Ugly

Thank you **Laura McEwan **for your help.

~ * ~

"What do you see when you look at me?" Starsky looked at Hutch in the mirror, still not putting the shirt on.

Hutch came closer and laid his hands on Starsky's bare shoulders.

"I see someone who loves me despite all my own _real_ ugliness. Despite the mess that's inside, invisible. Scars that are there 'cause they're my own fault and they'll never heal. They don't put you off."

Starsky frowned slightly. "What was your fault?"

"I betrayed you. What's uglier than _that_?" Hutch tilted his head.

"I forgave you," Starsky stated turning around to face him.

"My point exactly."


	21. Mature

Thank you **Laura McEwan **for your help.

~ * ~

"I don't care which one of you goes under! I want this case solved yesterday!" They could still hear Dobey's yell when Starsky pulled over in the front of his house.

A few years ago, they would just toss a coin, letting fate decide their future and then dealing with the outcome. Only the guilt trip would be their own.

"Wanna come and talk about it?" Starsky didn't even need to look at his friend.

"Yeah." Hutch already felt guilty, but talking _before_ made the uncertainty always easier to bear. They've learnt their lesson the hard way.

The hardest way.


	22. Tomorrow

Thank you **Laura McEwan **for your help. ACFS

~ * ~

"Buddy, I'm here. I'm here."

Strong arms and a soft voice reminded him that there was still something to live for, that there was still something to fight for. Someone. Hutch. Twelve hours left. And all that was left for him was pain, fatigue and faint – but still alive – hope.

And the sound of his partner's heartbeat. Also as strong and at the same time as soft as the tight hug. Now Starsky was living for Hutch. Tomorrow Hutch would have to live for Starsky. _Without_ Starsky. Hutch's heart would beat tomorrow. Would have to. Maybe for both of them.


	23. The Key

Thank you **Laura McEwan **for your help. Post SR. Written for Nancy.

~ * ~

Hutch locked the door and put the key into his pocket. Starsky looked at him, surprised.

"Something wrong?" Hutch frowned uneasily.

"What happened to the 'leave the key on the doorframe' habit?" asked Starsky as they made their way to their daily walk, part of his physiotherapy.

"People change," Hutch shrugged.

Starsky kept silent for a while, but finally put a gently hand on his shoulder.

"Hutch?"

"Starsk, before it was just an apartment and there was nothing precious inside." Hutch avoided his eyes.

"Well? Do you have some treasure there, now?"

"Now _you_ live there with me. It's home."


	24. Loud and Clear

Thank you **Laura McEwan **for your help.

~ * ~

They rarely said "thank you" to each other, for somehow it wasn't necessary with them. This time, however, he knew it should be said. It had to be said – loud and clear.

So many hours of painful physiotherapy after the hit, so many sleepless nights haunted by exhausting nightmares, and his friend was by his side every step he took.

And when he almost lost faith in their future and was ready to surrender to whatever diagnosis the doctors set, his friend was there and didn't let him give up.

"Thanks, Starsk. I would have never made it without you."


	25. Hideous

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Starsky seemed to consider his clothes armor, and Hutch did not like it. Even as Starsky's best friend, he was not allowed to ever see him without a shirt or a sweater. Yet, surprisingly, Starsky had allowed this to his mother, visiting for the first time since he had been released from the hospital.

And now, Starsky leaned against the doorframe – shirtless – watching Hutch finish preparing their early breakfast.

"Forgot something there?" Hutch couldn't help but ask, more than a little stunned.

Starsky shrugged, grinning broadly.

"Yeah, I did. I forgot how it feels when I don't need to hide."


	26. Trust

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

For Nancy.

**~ * ~**

Starsky knew that Hutch would trust him with his life after a few weeks of their training in the academy. When they'd become partners this knowledge only solidified.

Hutch trusted Starsky with his fears and with his joys, with his doubts and with his faith; with serious marriage problems and even with his car. Starsky had never asked for any proof, but Hutch always would find a way to show it.

But it wasn't until Hutch let Starsky stay in the room while he was talking to his plants that Starsky realized that Hutch also trusted him with his _soul_.


	27. Questions and Answers

Thank you** Nicola (britwizz)** for your help.

For Laura.

**~ * ~**

They sat on the beach, watching the waves, looking at the stars, just trying to pick up the pieces of Hutch's life.

"I still don't understand what I could've done differently." Hutch had been asking this question over and over again ever since Vanessa left him.

Starsky shuddered involuntary; some questions just flat out scared him.

"Maybe it's not about you. Maybe some people just stop loving one day," he whispered cautiously.

After a while of sitting in silence, Hutch asked, "Do you think it can happen to us?"

Well, this question scared Starsky, too.

But the answer did not.


	28. Rules

Thank you** Nicola (britwizz)** for your help.

**~ * ~**

At moments like this – keeping a silent vigil by his partner's hospital bed – Starsky fully understood why there was a rule set for not bargaining with God.

You could bargain only when you had something to offer. And it couldn't be just anything. It should be something worth at least as much as what you wanted – hoped – to get.

Starsky couldn't even offer his own life, for it was worthless at that moment. He'd failed to protect the most precious gift that he'd ever been given.

Hutch was priceless, so there'd be no bargaining with God.

Starsky could only hope.


	29. No Limits

Thank you** Nicola (britwizz)** for your help. Episode related: The Fix.

**~ * ~**

Hutch knew it was easy to say _"I'd die for you"_ and it was even easy to mean it. Many people did it every day, but not as many could say _"I'll live for you." _That wasn't so easy. Dying takes just a moment, living takes a whole lifetime. Not so easy, indeed.

Starsky had done it all. He died for him and lived for him. Hutch knew even more was true. Starsky would go through hell for him. Actually, Starsky did go through hell _with_ him and – what was more important – stayed when they were on the other side.


	30. Letting Go

Thank you** Nicola (britwizz)** for your help. Episode related: The Plague.

**~ * ~**

Was it worth? Or was it just throwing morality out the window? Were his priorities as a cop so screwed up that he could do such heinous thing as let a notorious hit man go? How many innocent people did he kill to save that one? Starsky didn't regret it. Just wasn't sure he still could do the job once it was over.

"Thank you, Starsk." Hutch put a hand on his shoulder. Still shaky, still struggling just to stand upright, but alive. So much alive.

Was it worth?

Starsky smiled his own gratitude. The answer was yes. Oh, yes.


	31. Heart In The Right Place

Thank you** Nicola (britwizz)** for your help. Episode related: The Psychic.

**~ * ~**

Looking at the dark, angry bruise spread across Hutch's chest, Starsky couldn't understand why it hurt _him_ so much. Hutch just smiled the shy and tiny smile he reserved exclusively for Starsky and buttoned the shirt he'd 'borrowed' from him.

"Could've been worse," Hutch said reassuringly.

Starsky frowned. "How?"

"Could've _not_ hurt." Hutch always read him easily.

Starsky didn't even want to _think_ about that option. And then, suddenly, he just knew it. Somebody must've replaced Hutch's heart with Starsky's in his chest. That's why it hurt unbearably where his heart should've been and wasn't.

Starsky smiled; that made sense.


	32. Leaving Hutchinson

Thank you **Laura McEwan** for your help.

**~ * ~**

I still love him. Maybe that's why it hurts so much? I _already_ miss our nights together. Yes, that part of our relationship was never a problem.

But now, it's over. I can't go on like that anymore. I know I'm a coward, leaving him like that – I just don't want to lose him, to see him dead one day. But I can't just leave without saying goodbye. I owe him at least that much.

Instead I come to my 'other' husband. The one I don't need to divorce.

"David?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of him, please?"

"You got it, Van."


	33. No Choice

Thank you **Dawn** for your help.

**~ * ~**

They were watching as the uniforms handcuffed the man and led him toward the black-and-white.

"What's bothering you, Hutch? It's something more than just – Colby, right?" Starsky put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Hutch shivered. Maybe it was the chilly wind, maybe something else?

"I wonder how it would've ended if you'd chosen him instead of me in the Academy," Hutch could only whisper. The feel of betrayal hurt more than he could've ever imagined.

"Hutch, I didn't choose you."

"No?"

"Do you think there was any alternative to you? You're _the one_."

Hutch smiled. Some people never betrayed.


	34. Cosmological Constant

Episode related: Sweet Revenge. Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Hutch, pizza, beer, and a game. Life was good.

Once.

Now it was Hutch, pain, fatigue, and struggling. But still, life was good. Maybe because Hutch had remained a constant in this equation?

Waking up every morning to the world where any movement meant aching and hurting should be a nightmare, but the knowledge that there would be a blond head resting next to Starsky's shoulder made the world a safe place again.

Starsky wanted to reach out to Hutch, except he couldn't stretch that far yet. But he knew Hutch wouldn't mind, and that alone made him feel better.


	35. Exclusive

Pre-series. Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

"Forgive me?" A dial tone was Hutch's only reply.

Well, he knew it was not the best idea to apologize to Van via phone. Starsky just handed him a coffee and lightly squeezed his shoulder.

"It's not your fault," Hutch said, feeling his distress.

Starsky slumped to the chair on the other side of their desk. "Yeah."

"Starsk, you know..."

"Stuff it, Hutch. She is right and you know it. We don't have to like it, but she IS right. I've been there and done that. Trust me, I know."

"You know what?"

"My Ma was a cop's wife, too."


	36. Scared

Episode related: The Set Up. Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

"Oh crap, not again," Starsky cursed, shoving the file away and swiped a hand down his face in frustration.

"What's that?" Hutch looked at him with concern.

Starsky didn't move, but also didn't stop Hutch when he reached for the file and started to read.

The words "New York" and "Joe Durniak" caught Hutch's attention.

"I didn't expect to ever meet him again," Starsky confessed silently.

Hutch frowned, asking, "You think he asked for you?"

"Most likely," Starsky whispered, meeting his eyes.

Hutch perused the reports again. "Maybe he just wanted to help you find some answers?"

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't want to find these answers?"

Hutch could hear the fear in his partner's voice. He reached forward to curl his hand around Starsky's fist.

"You won't be going in alone."


	37. The Deal

Episode related: The Plague. Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Starsky didn't mean it like that, but Hutch could dream. He could dream that Starsky would stay and continue fighting Hutch's demons as he did for the last few weeks.

"I'll tuck you in and then I haveta pick up Callender." Starsky opened the door and smiled. "But I'll be back."

Hutch frowned when he got in the car, calling out, "You paid a high price."

Starsky shrugged.

"I'd have paid much more."

It took a while until Hutch understood what he said.

"Roper?"

Starsky sighed, looking at him briefly.

"Didn't want me," he admitted.

Hutch smiled and whispered, "Loser."


	38. Third Time Is The Charm

Episode related: DiaDP. Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Starsky, still wearing his dress uniform after they left John's funeral, was leaning on the tree and looking at the ocean.

"There were so many things we didn't say to each other." He glanced briefly at Hutch. "And it was the same with my father. I – I didn't even tell him I loved him! I should have known better the second time around, right?"

Hutch stepped closer and smiled sadly.

"Starsk, they knew."

"What if they didn't?" Starsky asked, looking lost.

"They did."

Starsky sighed and closed his eyes, resting his head on the trunk.

"Hutch?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."


	39. Comfort

Post Sweet Revenge, episode related: The Fix. Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

"It's gonna be okay, Hutch."

It was so easy to believe the words when the warmth of Starsky's arms surrounded him; when the blood in his veins was slowly turning into liquid love.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. After so many years the fear and shame still lingered in the nightmares.

Starsky pulled him even closer.

"Don't ever say that, babe. You hear? Not after you called me in the middle of the night and asked me to come over."

"I'm a wimp," Hutch sighed, breathing easy in the safety.

"You've just proved otherwise, pal."

It was so easy to believe.


	40. First Time

Pre-series. Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Starsky's warm fingers tangled with Hutch's, easing his pained trembling. The barrel of his gun was still hot, the smoke still filling his lungs. There were reports to be written, statements to be given, wolves to be fed.

"Will – will it ever get easier?" Hutch couldn't look at Starsky. He knew the question was unfair to his partner, because Starsky knew the answer.

"I hope not." Starsky didn't move; just tightened the grip and continued blocking Hutch's view of the dead body.

"Make sure it won't." Hutch didn't know if that was plead or an order.

"Count on me, pal."


	41. Just Play Dead

Episode related: Ninety Pounds of Trouble. Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

_That sure didn't go according to plan_, he thought. So many things could go wrong; so many unknowns. And yet, he had to do it; he had no choice.

Hutch took the remaining few steps and put a hand on Starsky's shoulder. His partner turned around and looked at him surprised, but Hutch didn't let him speak. He couldn't allow it.

Hutch lifted the gun and aimed. One look at his partner's eyes and all Hutch could see was the familiar unflinching trust – hidden behind the anger and fear and disapproval, but unquestionably there.

He shot a second later. Starsky fell to his knees and Hutch squeezed his partner's arm, a silent gesture for Starsky.

Leaving his friend curled up on the sidewalk, Hutch whispered a prayer of gratitude. It could have been for real.


	42. Staking Out

Episode related: Gillian. Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**~ * ~**

Starsky looked at Hutch, not knowing if he should tell him the truth. But he wasn't about to start lying to his partner now.

"Yes," he confessed, meeting Hutch's eyes.

Hutch slammed the door shut, causing Starsky to flinch.

"Why?"

"W-why?" Starsky looked at him, confused. Hutch could be asking for anything with that word.

"Why didn't you tell me?" his partner clarified coldly.

"I – I don't know," Starsky answered sadly. "I thought maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if she left without telling you about her past..."

Hutch looked at him, breathing heavily.

"What did she say?" Hutch whispered and his voice stabbed Starsky straight into heart.

"No," he answered sincerely.

"No?" Hutch frowned.

Starsky took a step closer. "She said no. I made her choose and she chose you."

Hutch just stood there for a minute and then moved to the couch to sit down, looking more tired than Starsky had ever seen him.

"Do you think I would have chosen her?" Starsky heard him whisper.

"Yes," Starsky answered immediately.

"Are you sure?" The pain in Hutch's eyes was killing him.

"You did it," Starsky answered, sitting next to him.

"When?"

Starsky, saying nothing, touched the bruise on his cheek. He could see that Hutch understood.


	43. Revelation

Starsky discovered very quickly that his Academy roommate Ken Hutchinson liked classical and country music, was addicted to healthy food, wasn't a good dancer, snored loudly, woke up at ungodly hours to jog, and preferred studying in the morning before classes started.

But Starsky could easily tolerate these strange habits because he saw a potential in their relationship. Hutchinson was a good man, with a good heart, and that was key in creating a fine cop.

They felt each other out for a while, but then Starsky discovered something that changed mere acquaintance into a once-in-a-lifetime friendship.

Hutch was ticklish.


	44. All That Matter

Missing scene for The Committee:

**All That Matter**

The report shouldn't be so hard to write, even though every word there would be a lie.

"I'll do it," Starsky volunteered, grabbing the paper and smiling. "You'll just have to polish it later."

Hutch reached out and grasped his hand over his partner's, holding on for a moment. They worked hard to get where they were and if this didn't work the way they planned, they could lose everything.

Never before had they written reports that differed in every important detail, but still all that mattered was that they were writing it together. This would work; it had to.


	45. Survival

**Survival**

People thought being a cop was about making impossible choices, but for Starsky it was all about survival. Every choice he made was about staying alive.

He chose Hutch on the rooftop and sacrificed his own survival, he chose Hutch and let a professional killer go, he chose Hutch by killing the only people who knew where the kidnapped girl was held. Starsky didn't hesitate one second to choose Hutch when Vanessa was killed. Now how could anybody expect him to choose a protected witness instead of Hutch? Hutch wasn't a choice, Hutch was life. And Starsky wanted to live.


	46. I'll Be Watching You

A/N: Hutch has a date. Set after The Fix.

# ~ #

**I'll Be Watching You by Nicky Gabriel**

Hutch knew he shouldn't be trusted. Dobey could find Starsky a better partner; someone reliable who wouldn't mess up everything he touched. Starsky deserved someone who wouldn't endanger his career, and more importantly his life.

But Starsky had chosen him and now Hutch had to live up to that choice. He hated to admit it, but in some ways, Forrest had won. He grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down an address and a phone number, pushing it towards Starsky.

"What's that?" Starsky looked at him, surprised.

Hutch hesitated, but he knew that Starsky would understand. "Just my insurance."


	47. One Second at a Time

A/N: The Fix related.

# ~ #

**One Second at a Time**** by Nicky Gabriel**

Sometimes the need is so strong it wakes me up in the middle of the night and it takes all my strength not to scream my lungs out. Even after all these years, I still want to walk out the door and find the 'help' my mind craves. I know how it works – it's not my body anymore, it's all in my head, but that's why it's stronger and more dangerous. That's why – alone – I'm helpless against its calling.

And all it takes is just one different type of call. Three words and he would be here in a heartbeat. Here, by my side, where he promised he would be. Fighting all the demons standing in his way just to get to his place beside me. His scent and arms around me. His love feeding my veins. Feeding my need. The need that is deeper than any drug could ever touch.

I reach for the phone.

"I – I need – you," I whisper when he answers.

That's all it takes.

I put the receiver back and count the seconds, waiting for the key turning in my front door lock and the soft footsteps that promise a high more powerful than any indulgent drug could ever accomplish.

Sometimes my need is so strong I forget that Starsky is also like a drug. A drug only I have access to. A drug I love being addicted to and one I don't want to ever be free of.


	48. Sharing

**Sharing by Nicky Gabriel**

Hutch looked over from his hospital bed when Starsky, looking pale and extremely tired, entered the room. Nonetheless, Starsky felt relieved that his friend was finally conscious. The last two hours had scared him to death and he was grateful for any signs of life at all.

"Hey," he said softly, approaching the bed and touching Hutch's hand.

"Hey yourself," Hutch answered, wincing.

Starsky knew that Hutch's chest must have been hurting. The doctor said that Starsky didn't break any of his ribs, but he still felt guilty for being the cause of additional pain.

"I tried to keep your heart beating," he struggled to explain, putting his hand lightly over Hutch's chest.

Hutch frowned. "What's mine is yours," he whispered and closed his eyes, too tired to talk anymore.

Starsky stood there for long minutes, listening to Hutch's heartbeat with his fingertips.

"Don't you ever forget that."


	49. Never Again

Pre-series. Thank you **Kimberlyfdr** for your help.

**Never Again by Nicky Gabriel**

An empty desk; that's all that's left. There is nothing except a lamp and a typewriter on it; nothing that could remind him of the former cop working there.

Now he has to be strong, professional; can't get emotional.

Later he'll scream; throw things all over his place.

Later.

And Hutch will listen. He will tidy up the scattered books from the carpet; sweep the broken glasses and plates. Hutch will help pick up the pieces of his life and tuck him in when there's no more whiskey in the bottle.

Hutch will be there in the morning, when Starsky throws up and curses the whole world that lets people die on Starsky's duty.

Later Hutch will become his partner, the last one, because Starsky won't let _him_ die.

Never again.


End file.
